I Hate True Love

Let me rephrase…I hate ‘true love’ as it is portrayed in 99.99% of movies and novels. I’m talking about the mushy, gross, overly sentimental, cloud nine-variety of ‘true love’ that everyone in our culture seems to exalt. And since it’s Valentine’s Day, the epitome of all that stands for true love (in this culture, anyway), I thought I would bring some points to light. First, let’s discuss the falsehoods of what is commonly known as “true love”…

1. True Love’s Kiss

Granted, I know that this is mostly an overused plot point engineered by Disney for its interpretation of fairy tales as a means to defeat the antagonist’s spell/curse and save the damsel in distress from certain death. Got it. But some people still have it in the back of their minds that once they share true love’s kiss (or TLK) with their true love, then all their problems will be solved (Anna from Frozen, for example). And in some cases, TLK is kinda creepy…take Snow White, for instance. The dude kissed a dead (or mostly dead) girl in the woods. She was in a COFFIN, for goodness’ sake! There’s something severely messed up about that…

For these reasons, we have decided not to use TLK in our books—well, at least as it’s used above. Like everything that we kept from the old fairy tales, we incorporate those elements with a unique twist…

2. Love at First Sight 

Out of all the concepts of “true love”, love at first sight (LFS) has the most credence to it. Hey, it even occurs in the Bible when Jacob first sees his future wife Rachel (Genesis 29:10). However, I don’t have much faith in this one for me personally. Maybe it’s because the idea of “hate at first sight” (aka Lizzy and Darcy) appeals more to my realistic worldview, and maybe it’s just because I’m a girl and this concept applies more towards the male gender, since science proves that LFS is based on visual attractiveness and guys are more prone to that sort of thing. Am I saying that guys are more shallow than girls? No. There are plenty of girls who fall for this trap, too.

Is outward beauty enough to build a strong, lasting relationship? I think not. Indeed, beauty is only skin deep, and age will eventually fade it. A strong, loving relationship is built on trust: therefore love should not be based on something as transient as a person’s looks.

3. True Love should be your life’s ambition

I’m not sure that I have ever seen this concept overtly stated in a movie (except maybe a parody of some sort), but it often underlies a heroine’s tale in rom-coms and stories of that ilk. Thankfully, however, “true love” doesn’t have to be your life’s ambition. Can you imagine how depressing it would be if it was? You would be forced into unhappiness until you had found your “one true love” (which we’ll discuss later) and went off to your proverbial castle in the sky with him or her.

What I hate the most about this falsehood is that some people don’t think you SHOULD be happy if you’re still single…that your happiness should be dependent upon someone else. Well, if that’s love, then it comes at much too high a cost! *insert Idina Menzel singing* Some of the most influential people in my and Marie’s lives have been joyful, contented, single ladies who did not rely on a man to make them happy.

Well, these are only a sampling of my thoughts on the cultural lie that makes up “true love”…I’m sure Marie will continue the discussion in her next post. Meanwhile, as always, your thoughts are welcomed below.

Do you agree or disagree on the points I made?




3 thoughts on “I Hate True Love

  1. Celeste Tan

    So true Bekah, expresses a lot of my feelings about love as it is commonly seen nowdays. When you break it down and think about it realistically, it does sound pretty stupid. I think most of us fall in love with the image of a person and not with the person in whole, because most times when we meet someone we see only the looks, we can’t get to know the person truly in a night or a few hours. Great article. Love the Wicked reference btw! 😀

  2. You make some excellent points! I agree that most books/movies/shows don’t interpret love as “realistic.” When I find a book that isn’t all fireworks, I’m thrilled because while there are sparks of attraction in real like when first you meet someone, love is SO much more than that. It has to be deeper than that to last marriage and a lifetime – love can be wonderful but being in a relationship isn’t easy and because of that, it’s more than superficial. (With that being said, I will admit to enjoying rom-coms as a fun distraction – life is hard enough, so it’s fun to watch something silly to lighten the mood. ;D)

    Also, kudos about being happy single. Well said.

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